It's amazes me how one minute I can feel fine, then a memory hits, and suddenly the world flips upside down.
Yesterday I was going about my day when the date suddenly hit me. October 17 ... exactly one year since Colton's baby shower.
That was one of the most magical days I can remember. I had so many friends join me to celebrate the upcoming arrival of Colton. People traveled up to six hours (one way!) to join us. The house was full of people. Laughing, sharing ... celebrating.
That day feels so abstract now, so surreal. I can't help but still be amazed at how quickly and drastically life can change. Just three and a half weeks later my son was dead. And I was being induced to deliver him too soon and without life. A life that so shortly before we were celebrating and showering with love.
Today is one month until the day I delivered Colton. As it closes in, so does the world around me. The reality of the last year, of the loss, closes in. The reality of the loss and how deeply it still hurts and saddens me. I miss my son, I wonder who he would be today. And I wonder how life can change all so quickly.
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