One of our greatest joys in life (at least for me, probably most) is sharing our lives with others. We have pride in the life we live, the people we chose as our partners, and the children we create. Part of the joy of bearing children is watching them grow and seeing how they integrate into this crazy world and how the world takes them in.
I find sadness that no one will ever know Colton. I was blessed to know him. I know that he had hiccups often. He preferred laying on my left side (would he be a lefty like dad??). He liked spicy food and loved pizza (momma's boy!!). He mellowed in a warm shower and celebrated when he got ice cream. He danced to mine and Logan's voice, and mellowed to his dads. He would poke back and forth with me, and curl up in his dads palm. He was calm, overall. Would he have been the same on the outside?
I grieve that I won't know that answer. I also grieve that neither will anyone else. I got to know him through all those months I was blessed to carry him, know him, and love him. No one else will ever know him like I did. And that brings it's own agony. The agony of the untold story the grew inside me. The story no one else will ever know.
How I wish Colton could have stayed and told his story to the world.
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