I have always disliked the month of April. It seems every year it's a complete mess, the world is flipped off it's axis, and I cannot wait for it to be OVER.
This year, obviously, has been the same.
May, though, isn't so much easier.
Mothers Day is just a few weeks away.  There are certain holidays, dates, periods of times, that are more bittersweet than others after you've lost a child.
Mothers Day is definitely one of them.
I will do something special with the kids.  What, I am not sure yet.  I do know, though, it will include a trip out to see Colton.
I feel so fortunate to have my other children. I think with great sadness of all the childless mothers.  The mothers who have no children here on earth with them, yet are mothers just the same. I pray their families acknowledge them, acknowledge the child or children they've lost.  I know how hard the day is for me, I cannot imagine the pain they must feel.
I feel blessed to be planning my daughter's first birthday party.  I feel blessed to be celebrating my own birthday, just the day before Mothers Day.  I feel blessed to every day wake up with the knowledge I am surrounded by love, both here on Earth and all around me.
April showers be gone please ... May flowers and a blooming abundance of hope lie ahead. 
 
 
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